Just finished the papers before September holidays, GP, Econs P1 and Chem P2. Was ok but econs misread a few questions that wasted me a bit of time. Writing this because I was so paranoid after Chem P2 that I have never experienced before. I had definitely set high expectations for myself and every mark that I had lost stressed me out way too much. Currently lost around 10 marks out of 72, and expect another 6 marks lost from PQ. Initial goal was B for chem, which I think is achievable after taking paper 2 provided I don’t make too many careless mistakes. However, I went back yesterday and compared my performance against all the practice papers that I did to predict my score. Almost went crazy. I am hoping for an A for paper 2 although the goal was  a B, but the problem is I have always been so confident but something will always go wrong when the paper gets returned. Currently I’m worried that I might not even hit a B.

I think having high expectations is a good thing since it drives us to work much harder and never be satisfied, which defines me pretty well since I am hungry to be perfect in just about everything that I care about. In games I would reroll for hours to get the perfect start, for project work last year I did all the way into midnight to perfect our report, and got some group members up with me too. And in the case of Chem although my initial goal was B now I have been trying to hit an A since it really seem possible. In ultimate I was relentless too, although sometimes I will break and settle for less, which really shouldn’t be the case. Mental note to have more willpower. Anyways, I should learn to control these expectations and not let it burn me out since I have more papers after my holidays. afraid that I might fall sick due to stress. Everyone around me has been falling ill recently.

Yup so after this post I really should move on with life and stop worrying about my Chem. The results will show eventually and right now it’s no longer in my control.


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